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Flash type excerpt: Queen Kegel and the Dead Galaxy (tentative title)

In A Flash

Emperor Mensch-Xi looked at his son, the comely Crown Prince Con’er, with loathing.

“You are too weak to rule a state,” Mensch-Xi barked. “And you are certainly too weak to rule our great state of Sya Ang Land of the Many and Obedient People Like Schools of Fish Thronging!”

Since Crown Prince Con’er’s return from his first campaign on the Yellow Danube river, he had been saturated in opium and poisoned lotus, living in one drug den after another. The Emperor was disgusted by his son’s reaction to his first battle wound in spite of his otherwise exemplary performance at war.

“I shall therefore make an Imperial decree upon this subject, you nancy!” Mensch-Xi said. “If one wound has made you this desperate for oblivion, you will be tormented and punished until you have the tolerance for pain of a real man! And then some! Guards, take him to the Imperial Torture Dungeons!”

None of their many cruelties and sadisms, their injuries and poisons, their machines and beatings, could make him so much as cry out. His tolerance for pain was off the Celestial freaking charts.

Mensch-Xi visited the Imperial Torture Dungeons after some months and, after witnessing it for himself, was truly confused.

“Crown Prince Con’er,” the Emperor said, “You have quickly learned how to stand amazing amounts of pain. You are no damn little sissy. I was mistaken.” He bowed.

“No, Father,” Crown Prince Con’er replied, still bound to a rack, bloodied and abused. “Regarding my weakness, you were correct. Your error lies elsewhere, though you are blameless.”

“Please Instruct me, Crown Prince,” the Emperor said as he motioned for his son to be loosed from bondage.

Con, the man, stared directly into the Emperor’s eyes, his undulled memories causing more anguish than seeping wounds and ugly bruises ever could. He covered his right hand with his left and bowed as well as his body would allow, then raised his right arm in a weak but reverent sieg heil before allowing both arms to fall to his sides.

After a moment, he spoke.

“Your highness understands weakness, but you do not understand pain.”

(Oops! Close, but wrong universe for this story. Sorry about that. The point stands.)


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Three Smutpunk Masterpieces — Reviews

Mini-Reviews of Three Smutpunk Works of Genius

Mini-reviews of three Smutpunk works of beauty that are overflowing with atmosphere, story, unexpected sex, and damn good writing. Featuring Made in DNA, Moctezuma Johnson, and Kella Z. Driel.

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More mini-reviews

Even More Mini-Reviews

Mini reviews are all I really have time for, but I don’t bother posting a review on my site unless I recommend that you read it. I am dreadfully far behind on writing reviews. I read a lot, but not all of what I read is relevant to smutpunk or erotica. My reviews always are, though, so check these out as soon as you can!

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QK Excerpt: Queen Kegel and the Arena Planet

QK and the Arena Planet: Snippet

I swam to my Castle through an aether of my own wetness. It was my first time ever (again), and it was a delicious deflowering. I wish I could lick your genitals and bestow upon you a sliver of how intoxicating it was—the boundless energy, the absolute abandonment of tension, the utter lack of thought, the exhilarating excess of feeling.

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Erotic Pulp Volume 2 Is now LIVE on Amazon!

Get it and get it while the gettin’s good!

In this ish (volume, whatever!) we have the following dangerous, romantic, heroic, sexy pulp adventures!

•Fit Man and Burpee Girl in … Street Justice!, Part 2!
•Butterface and Queen Kegel in … BATTER-DIPPED BREADED ASIAN LONG PIG!
•Callie’s Cowboy Riff so you can get your snaps on!
•And the main event is Brendalee Elkins in … The Odyssey of Brendalee Elkins, Part 1!


And like all the best Superheroic works…make sure you stick around after the credits!

Trailer Trash Tales #1 now available!

Trailer Trash Tales Begins!

Trailer Trash Tales is an erotica series set in the Happy Acres Trailer Park (known to some as “Fertile Acres” or “Happy Ending” Trailer Park…these people aren’t all the brightest!). You can read an excerpt of it at Mr. Blackthorne’s website under the Wicked Pen Writers, of which I am proudly a member. You also could have read it in your email inbox if you were on my mailing list, which you should be, since there is free stuff for members and sneak peeks from time to time.

Continue reading Trailer Trash Tales #1 now available!

QK and Butterface—Erotic Pulp 2

Thanks to @MystkFish and @MJKingofErotica, I had this little hallucination of Butterface and Queen Kegel that I decided can fit into Erotic Pulp Volume 2 without hurting anything. And since I’m once again on the old pain meds I figured hell, why not share it while it’s timely? So without further ado (join my newsletter! free porn!), I present a little less than proudly, but claiming it nonetheless…

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Reviews: Erotica and Smutpunk Mini-reviews

More Mini-reviews by Callie

Hello, sexy readers! Mini-reviews are apparently becoming my only real means of keeping up. I actually do know how to properly review a book, I just haven’t had that kind of time and energy lately. It will happen again, someday. In the meantime, like last time, these are all 5-stars from me. I have another 5 to add and write, but I can’t sit on this one any longer, it’s been literally 3 months waiting for me to get them up already.

Anyhow, all of these are more recommended reads than real reviews, so go get them and dig in!

Continue reading Reviews: Erotica and Smutpunk Mini-reviews